Anyway, I do take full responsibility for the wedding - at least for the date of it. The astute reader might remember that I turned 44 in March - and for those of you who are as weak in math as I am in biology, that makes me -6.5 months on the day of my parent's wedding day. And although I am weak in biology, I do know that the human gestational period is 9 months, which means that I was a fetus of about 2.5 months when my mom walked down the aisle to marry my dad (as far as I know, no shotguns were involved).
But the story of my parents doesn't start there - nor does it end there. On their 30th anniversary, in 2001, they were supposed to be flying home to Norway after a visit to my new home in Michigan, but my dad suffered a heart attack and was a little too busy recovering from a triple bypass to make it over. I should say that they were scheduled to fly out of the US on the 10th, so they would have missed the aftermath of the attacks, but I believe they might have been at Schipol Airport in Amsterdam on the 11th.
I remember the morning of September 11 very clearly. MCC's Student Services had a staff meeting in the newly opened M-TEC building in Greenville. I was still new to MCC - I had started July 1 as a part time employee, but was made a full time employee in the wake of retirements and restructuring. Part of my job was to manage the schedule of Jim Lucka, who was one of the two counselors there at the time. I don't know how he got to have a reputation - at least by our work study at the time - of being a slightly gruff person, because he never was to me. In the staff meeting, he made it a point to thank the hiring committee for having made a great decision in hiring me. I am not saying this to brag, but because it was one of those things that I clearly needed to hear at that point - I wasn't very sure of myself professionally yet, and hearing it from him really made a difference to me.
As time went on that academic year, I started staying back after work some times, chatting with Jim, and discovering with every conversation more and more that I wanted to get into counseling. In many ways - and in subtle ways - Jim helped me discover college counseling as a profession and rediscover counseling as a vocation, because that what it is to me. I once told him that I planned to take his position when he retired, but instead I got the other counseling position at MCC, as he retired not long after I had started working as a counselor at Grand Rapids Community College and thought it too soon to apply for another job. As a matter of fact, I even thought it a little too soon to apply the year later, when the job I currently hold became open, but that time I still did and I landed my dream job.
But that little comment of Jim's, the comment that would have made me remember the day if not the date, was soon to be overshadowed by news reports that a plane had crashed into one of the twin towers of the World Trade Center. Then another plane into the other tower. And the Pentagon. And then the aftermath, which we still are experiencing. The fear of muslims in the United States really originated with those attacks, and it is nourished not only by extremists who keep conducting acts of terror, but also by the hatred we see by some very significant political figures.
I just saw a quote of Martin Luther King, jr that I think is important to remember (only the third and fourth lines were quoted, but I like the fuller version):
Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
Hate multiplies hate,
violence multiplies violence,
and toughness multiplies toughness
in a descending spiral of destruction
I won't dwell more on the events of September 11, 2001, because I would much rather celebrate September 11, 1971. Like I said, 45 years is a long time, and while they have had their ups and downs, they are still together. More than that, watching them together now, I notice things that I didn't notice before. Like the way they sometimes look at one another - especially if the other isn't looking. Or the way they both were talking about when they first met (my mom correcting my dad - as usual). The subtle ways they show their love for one another may have been lost in the daily grind of work and raising a family in the past - or maybe I was to consumed with myself to notice - but it is certainly showing now that they are retired and have more time to one another. The way they choose to spend their time together - even if they are just in the same room reading a book - shows how they indeed cherish their time together.
That they are great parents as well will have to be covered later, as today is all about love. About the love they have for one another, about the love I have for my profession and job, and about how we need to turn to love rather than hate, especially when it is counter to our instinct. But most of all it is about the love my parents have for one another - and the love I have for them both. Lenny Kravitz' first album was called Let Love Rule, and the title track is simply awesome. Happy 45th anniversary, mom and dad!
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